Wanting and Needing

About 20 years ago, I did some work around needs and wants.
My deep seated belief (my inner child’s belief, if you will) was that God only gave me what I needed, but I never got (didn’t deserve) what I simply wanted.

This did two things.  First of all, it meant that I didn’t allow good thing into my life unless I thought I absolutely needed them.  This kept me blind to many blessings and opportunities that were all around me.

Second, it kept me in a state of constant desperation.  If I wanted something, I had to convince myself that I NEEDED it, or I knew I would never get it.  Of course if I needed it and didn’t have it, then life was pretty awful.  This approach was most evident in my choice of a lifestyle in which I demonstrated on a daily basis my desperate NEED for a relationship with a woman.  I was afraid that if I didn’t convince the universe that I needed a woman in my life, I would spend the rest of eternity alone.  Of course, this desperation was not particularly attractive to emotionally healthy women, so it made it difficult for the universe to give me what I wanted.

To prove to me that I was allowed to have my wants as well as my needs met, My therapist invited me to think of something I simply wanted, but did not really need, and then ask the universe (God) to bring it to me.
Believe it or not, I asked for an electric toothbrush. I had recently gone bankrupt, and the idea of spending $70 on a toothbrush seemed outrageously frivolous. But I really did want it.

A few days later, God found a way to double my income overnight, and I went out and bought that toothbrush.

Believe it or not, this is NOT about the law of attraction.  It is not about attracting what we want,  It is about giving ourselves permission to accept more of the good that the world has to offer.

God wants us to have everything.

God wants YOU to have everything – even a committed, loving relationship.
But He wants it to be healthy.  That means that it can’t be about desperation.

You have to want it for the right reasons, not need it for the wrong reasons.


4 thoughts on “Wanting and Needing”

  1. So logical. Words of wisdom, thanks. In the parallel universe some of the wants are in the catagory of needs. Love is attraction which fear repels.

  2. Christina Matthews

    Perfect post! Recently, I decided to request and accept more of the good things available to me through God’s grace because it really is appropriate to do so.

  3. Yes. Patience is the virtue that allows us to be happy while we wait for what we want or need. As James Taylor once sang “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”

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